Today my wish for you is a Christmas of kindness.
Kindness to yourself.
Kindness to others.
This time of year can be tough. If you’re a new vegan, home for the holidays, you may feel as if you need to defend your dietary and lifestyle choices. Or you may feel terribly hurt by how much cruelty you see served up on a platter in the middle of the holiday table. Perhaps you’re thinking about going vegan in the new year and you can’t imagine doing so because no one else in your family will join you.
The other day I got a message on my Facebook page from a young woman struggling – she wanted advice on how to interact with the non-vegans in her life. I shared a bit of my personal story with her. I share it here for you today, on Christmas, with the hope that it makes a holiday among omnivores easier. With the hope that if living in a multivore home is the only thing keeping you from going vegan that you will see that it’s possible.
I said:
My husband and I have known each other for seventeen years and when we met we were both meat-eaters. I went vegetarian about 12 years ago – he did not, but he was very supportive. I didn’t really ever try to convince him to eat the way I do – though, truthfully, my ethics around animals were not that strong anyway – because I knew, as a feminist, I would be furious if he ever tried to tell me I should do something because he was doing it.
Cut to four years ago. I went vegan and he was again supportive, incredibly, but he didn’t really waver in his own diet or lifestyle choices. I just kept living my new vegan life. I started giving money to animal sanctuaries on our behalf, taking him to sanctuaries because it was important to ME (not trying to influence him, and he knew that), going to vegan restaurants because, hey, we can both eat vegan food. But I never asked him to change.
I constantly go back to something Colleen Patrick-Goudreau says on her podcast and when speaking to groups – “before we were vegan, we were not.”
I don’t think of my husband as not vegan. I think of him as not vegan yet and I just hope he’ll have a profound experience, like I did, that will be transformative.
We recently moved and he, on his own, said he would like our home to be vegetarian. He said that if he wants to eat non-vegetarian he will do it outside of the house. That took four years.
So, my advice? Don’t worry about changing everyone around you. But when you simply live your joyful, vegan life you just might! Focus on you, your veganism, being kind, and living as an example. And be patient. You just never know the impact you’re having on those around you.
Final note: I have moments when it gets to me – this time of year when I see so many sad images of animals dying for holiday meals. I just let myself be sad. And then I think about what I can do to keep working on behalf of animals. And I surround myself with people who are vegan or animal lovers so that I am reminded that while the enormity of what happens to animals can be overwhelming, there are an overwhelming number of people who are trying to change the world for animals.
Merriest of holidays, dear readers. May we all continue to do the very best we can – with kindness and compassion at the forefront of every action we take.
9 thoughts on “Wishing you a Christmas of kindness – to yourself and those around you.”
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Kindness Back to you and yours!
Thank you, @disqus_DHVz8HdN6H:disqus!
I hope you & your family enjoy your holiday. For one of my dad’s Christmas presents, I gave him Diet for a New America. I don’t know if it will have any effect on him, but at least he will be more aware.
Great gift, Jamie! Happy holidays!
Sitting in my omni-family’s home right now, I’ve been struggling the past many hours. The holiday meal complete with carcass was bad enough and I was very quiet through the whole meal, seething inside. This is nothing new. I’ve been vegan for 8 years and a non-meat eater for over 20 and visit my family several times a year… instead of getting easier it gets harder (in regard to dealing with those who think I’m daft.) What bothered me the most this year was a brief discussion we had about Seaworld… my sister is aware of Blackfish and some of the scenes in the movie and is sympathetic. But then she went on to support them because of the rescue work they do and she quickly, subtly challenged me. My nephews laughed. My brother-in-law proclaimed they’d definitely be visiting the park on their next trip to Florida. My response was flustered and pretty non-productive — I was passionate yet out-numbered and I couldn’t accurately reply to the rescue work claim. But this is still sitting with me now 15 hours later. I’m thinking of writing my family a letter about why I feel the way I do about animals in general where I can be more poised, calm and rational, rather than responding on the spot. I love my family and they love me and some members are extremely supportive — Dad even went vegan recently for health concerns. But the tension is always there among us because of this great divide — my veganism is so much a part of me, yet I am completely misunderstood or dismissed. I’m contemplating staying home for the holidays next year which is not a good solution either and would kill my parents.
@L2Lulu:disqus, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I think one of the reasons this can be so hard is because all we want is some respect for our perspective (and concessions would be nice, too). I hope you find a way to express your feelings that feels right for you. Hugs.
Thanks, JL.
Hi JL: Great advice, thanks for sharing. Love hearing you on Our Hen House! I have found that sharing great vegan food and baking really helps the cause. People tend to be so much more open-minded when stuffing their faces with fantastic vegan fare. I gave a copy of “Vegan for Her” to my veg-curious, animal-loving sister for Christmas this year. If there ever was a time of year to promote and champion compassion and kindness – this is the season. Best wishes to you and yours.
Stephen, I love that you list to Our Hen House! And I hope your sister enjoys Vegan for Her – how kind of you to give that to her. Happy New Year, to you!