I made some rookie mistakes while dining out recently.
When I screw up, I do it big – for my online readers of The Journal News, no less. GEESH. I write about it today on my I Eat Plants column: I am not a “perfect” vegan.
I’d love for you to read it and come back here to share your thoughts, experiences, advice, shock, awe, whatever. And thanks.
25 thoughts on “Oops, I ate egg and cheese. (Turns out, I’m not a “perfect” vegan)”
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JL, it happens to all of us. None of us are perfect. Perfection is not my goal; rather I strive to do the best I can in an “imperfect” world. I agree. Ask, ask, ask… but even sometimes when you do it isn’t enough! I appreciate your candor and your attitude! Hugs.
No shock or awe, but just another reminder that there is no “perfect” way to be. You can plan all you want, but sometimes mistakes will be made and we’re forced to move on. And while I’m sure the realization left you crawling in your skin, it’s not like you knowingly sat down to a plate of bacon and eggs for a meal.
With everything, every small misstep is a chance to learn, and from now on you know what to do. It takes work–as you know–but we all do the best that we can.
Thanks for sharing!
Yes–thanks for the reminder about asking about the menu. As a new vegan, I ate a sandwich roll that I later realized wasn’t vegan. What can we do but operate with the best intentions and learn from our mistakes? (That said, it’s very frustrating when veggie burgers aren’t vegan.)
Sometimes, I am disappointing in myself. Sometimes. But 90% of the time? I blame the non vegan world for being ridiculous about their use of animal products to the point that I have to be so watchful, not that I wasn’t watchful enough.
I do think one of the things that comes along with eating and cooking vegan is my utter surprise when chefs or home-cooks who are not vegan take a perfect good dish and feel the need to throw fish sauce or the like in it!
Well, not a comment on the “perfect” thing, but your remark about “there are also vegans who take it beyond the plate”….actually ALL vegans take it beyond the plate. If someone is eating a vegan diet and not practicing a vegan lifestyle, they are strict vegetarians.
I am a vegan who does not (knowingly) eat animals and does not (knowingly) use animal by-products but I know many people who identify as vegan who are not eating animals for ethical reasons and just haven’t taken their veganism to their closet or bathroom shelves … yet. I respect the process of the journey and don’t begrudge them for taking on a label that they feel describes the ethics of how they choose to eat. If only everyone would just jump right into no use and abuse of animals, ever, for anything! But for many, it was a process to get there (me, included). I believe acknowledging the process is an invitation, encouragement, to go further.
I love this post!! I mess up all the time, and sometimes, I do it on purpose. Let me explain: I have this theory about dining out with nonvegans. If we make veganism look hard, the omnis around us will be turned off about going vegan. I ask questions, yes. But when a dish arrives at my table with obviously buttered bread, I don’t send it back. I eat it, and then I make a mental note to ask the server to leave off butter next time. I also don’t bother asking servers to verify if a bread is vegan, because that typically means they have to go to the back, read some ingredients, and come back … all of which makes veganism seem like a huge pain in the ass. But if get a dish covered in cheese, I will send that back. I just bring myself to do it when it’s so in my face.
No, this makes vegans look wishy washy and inconsistent in their beliefs. Also doesn’t allow a chance for restaurants to adapt and learn to make vegan options.
Agreed.
Yes! I’m vegan & my daughter has life-threatening allergies to dairy & egg. Last time after having lunch at a restaurant she was sick the whole afternoon. our supposedly “vegan” food must have contained either dairy or egg (or both…) I would have never known if not her allergic reaction. It IS important to tell! Wouldn’t you point out if you were served pasta marinara instead of pasta primavera? I bet you would. Veganism cannot be lesser than pasta sauce…
JL, I just love you. As always, your approach is reasoned, sensible and just so gosh-darn inspiring! Thank you for bringing this notion to the forefront–it’s something with which many vegans struggle (myself included). xo!
You are so open and honest.
This is something most vegans struggle with and you are not afraid to put it out there; especially since there will be negative comments posted.
We all do our best. Every day we we learn something new, along with new and better ways to do things.
I have been in your shoes and have learned the same lesson – always ask, just to be safe.
Sherry, thanks for the support. I have always said that this blog is about the journey – and journeys have ups and downs, flat tires and smooth sailing, it’s about everything!
love this post (i mean the article). so many people are scared off my the perfection that is associated with veganism.
there are plenty of ways to slip up when dining out…even if you do remember to ask, sometimes the staff isnt entirely knowledgeable. and sometimes i dont realize things in fact DID have dairy until i take a bite. your reaction is perfect. now the restaurant knows. now you have made a mental note too.
btw, its so annoying when veggie burgers arent vegan.
Yes, we need to start a veggie burger movement – no eggs, no cheese, please!
Can I join in that movement? What’s with places grilling veggie burgers on the same grill as animal-based burgers or putting a veggie burger on an egg-bread bun (with no alternative breads supposedly available)?!?!
Yes! We need t-shirts!
Great note in your piece about how we cannot “assume” even if it sounds so very vegan! And, I think it’s important that we remember that we do our best, and learn along the way, rather than stressing on any imperfections that might discourage us or deflate our enthusiasm. I’ve had plenty of “oops” moments along the way too – it’s the big picture that counts.
I left this comment on the LoHud site, too!
To me, veganism is not a personal purity crusade. It’s not a goal I’ve set for myself, to see if I can do it. I do benefit from being vegan, but at the end of the day, it’s not about me. It’s about reducing the suffering of other living beings. To freak out over accidental consumption sometimes seems to make it about the self — “I failed,” “I’m not perfect” — rather than remembering the big picture. It happens to me too, and when it does, I note what I can do better next time, and I move on. To dwell on it incessantly sometimes feels narcissistic, and undermines the larger point, which is to do my best to live compassionately. So I totally hear (and echo) your philosophy here!
I always try to get across to people that 1) there is no Vegan Police and 2) I can only do the best I can. Nice post.
JL, I appreciate your honesty! No one is perfect. Ever. No matter how vigilant one is, mistakes happen. I try to move on and not beat myself up about it. Sometimes, no matter how many questions you ask, you still end up with food that has animal products in it. Where I live, there are so few veg*ns that I used to end of with dishes that had butter or eggs in them. When people here think of animal-free, they assume you mean only meat-free. It’s been a hard road and I do the best I can.
It just happened to me today, I ate a sliece of cheese in a “vegan” restaurant (which turned out to be 20% vegetarian, 80% vegan) and I asked for a lasagna and I assumed it was completely vegan as the restaurant claims to be vegan, and after I ate the damn lasagna I found out that the slice of cheese was actualy cheese!!!! AGHHHHH!!! then they told me that most of their dishes were vegan but some others were vegetarian (including the lasagna) WTF!!!. And yes, that’s what happen when you assume. Next time I eat out, I’ll have to ask even if the damn restaurant says it’s vegan.
Oh, Mayra, so we’ve all been there, done that, right? Progress, not perfection! Let’s keep doing the best we can (and ask lots of questions!).